Bigotry Against the Rich: Is That a Thing?

ScroogeSo apparently the rich are an oppressed minority now.

Last month, in what is thought to have become the most widely read letter to the editor ever published by The Wall Street Journal, venture capitalist and former News Corp board member Tom Perkins writes, “I would call attention to the parallels of fascist Nazi Germany to its war on its ‘one percent,’ namely its Jews, to the progressive war on the American one percent, namely the ‘rich.'” He concludes, “Kristallnacht was unthinkable in 1930; is its descendant ‘progressive’ radicalism unthinkable now?”

In other words, mild resentment of the rich = the Holocaust.

What evidence does the eccentric Bay Area billionaire (or multimillionaire — there’s some disagreement, but let’s not quibble) cite for this astounding equation? The smoking guns seem to be Occupy Wall Street, protests against Google’s commuter buses in San Francisco, outrage over high real estate costs, and media attacks on novelist Danielle Steel (Perkins’ ex-wife).

Okay, I’m sold.

I suppose it’s only a matter of time before we 99 percenters see the error of our ways. Perhaps we could start building museums and monuments to commemorate the systemic obstacles faced by the wealthy. The UN could establish some manner of international day of memorial to mark the injustice of anti-rich oppression. School districts around the world could develop lesson plans to teach children about the hurt feelings and bruised egos suffered by Perkins and his fellow job creators throughout history. Never forget.

Of course, Perkins has been dealt his fair share of condemnation over the letter. Some have accused him of paranoia and megalomania, of trying to use money to insulate himself from reality. Others might be inclined to state the obvious: that if the rich were truly persecuted, they wouldn’t be rich anymore. Even Perkins himself now says he regrets the Kristallnacht comparison, though not his letter’s message. (I thought the Kristallnacht comparison was the message, but never mind.)

All these critiques miss the point. What we must understand, apparently, is that the wealthy, simply by virtue of being wealthy, benefit everyone. Listen to deranged Canadian multimillionaire Kevin O’Leary, for example. “It’s fantastic,” he says regarding an Oxfam report that the world’s richest 85 individuals have wealth equal to that of the poorest 3.5 billion, “and this is a great thing because it inspires everybody, gets them motivation to look up to the one per cent and say, ‘I want to become one of those people, I’m going to fight hard to get up to the top.’ This is fantastic news, and of course I applaud it. What can be wrong with this? Yes, really. I celebrate capitalism.”

Exactly. When those on the bottom gaze up to those at the top, they know it is time to start climbing. Only I’m not talking about wealth. I’m talking about the ability to engage in … let’s call it … artful hyperbole. That’s what I truly admire about economic übermenschen such as Perkins and O’Leary. For me, a political blogger, the scent of heaping shovelfuls of rhetorical manure is like perfume, and never in my life have I felt so envious and, at the same time, so inspired.

Just imagine what I could accomplish if I were to take the lessons of these two masters to heart. Imagine the powers of persuasion I too might possess if I would just buckle down, work hard, and — somewhere down the line — learn how to synthesize such potent strains of bullshit all on my own.

This post appears on rabble.ca.